Single Season = Training Ground For Future

#Honestymoment I from time to time have found myself so focused on being single that I've neglected little ways that The Lord was trying to prepare me for the next season of my life. God would put it on my heart to read a certain book or listen to a certain sermon on marriage and at times I just simply wouldn't do it (aka disobedience). I kept telling Him, "Lord I just want to focus on being single." There was even a period of time, towards the end of last year, where I almost felt guilty for having the desire to want to be married one day. It seemed like everywhere I turned someone was telling me to focus on being single or be more content. I ended up being frustrated because I was content (I mean I actually enjoy being single) and was only trying to be obedient to what God was putting on my heart. I truly felt Him calling me to start shifting my focus to the ways that I will need to be prepared for the next season of my life but it was hard for me to convey that to others. Looking back I now understand that their intentions were good and that they were just trying to make sure that I didn't get so stuck on the idea of marriage that I didn't enjoy my single season.

I believe that if I were to stay so "focused on being single" that when God does decide to bring my future husband into my life I wouldn't be ready. That instead of "focusing on being single" I need to be focused on Christ and letting Him guide and lead me as He chooses!

So no marriage shouldn't be our focus as single Christians but we also shouldn't neglect how God wants to prepare us for that season either or any other season of our lives. For example, I know deep down in my heart that I am called to one day be a wife and a mother. That it is part of the reason why God created me. How foolish would it be of me to wait until after I'm one day married to try and figure out what it means to be a Biblical woman? What my role as a wife is expected to be, according to Scripture? Or what it is like to raise children in the ways of the Lord? Of course there's nothing like the real thing but you can still study those areas of Scripture. There's a LOT OF WORK that goes into being a Biblical woman, wife, and mother. When I get married is not the time to prepare, the preparation starts now. Does that I mean I let it consume my thoughts day and night? Well no but that also doesn't mean that I entirely neglect studying women in the Bible, listening to sermons on marriage, and observing Christian married couples because I'm not in that season yet. There's a balance and a level of discipline that needs to be set. Actually, ironically enough, by studying Biblical womanhood and allowing God to "prepare me to be a wife" I have actually grown closer in my relationship with Him because I'm starting to understand the purpose behind being a woman. I have a new sense of direction because I recognize how unique and special my role is as a woman. I am an image bearer of Christ, fearfully and wonderfully made in my own way. I don't have to compete with man or compare myself to other women. Nor do I have to be loud and manipulative in order for my voice to be heard. I don't have to dress immodestly in order to draw attention to myself. God rejoices when I choose to be more like Mary instead of Martha. When I choose to be gentle and kind when speaking to others. That there's a purpose for everything that I experience and it's all working together for my good, whether I understand it or not. It's helped me to find more joy in the tasks that God places before me because I recognize that it brings Him glory when I submit to His design for my life. That he delights when I choose to view and live out womanhood according to what is written in the Bible versus what the world promotes and practices. It may sound crazy but I've developed a new love for cleaning, organizing, budgeting and washing dishes over the past 6 months. I actually find complete joy and peace in completing those tasks and I know that it's only because of the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Psalm 37:4 tells us to "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

To delight in someone means to experience great pleasure and joy in his or her presence, which can only happen when we know that person well. Therefore to delight in the Lord, we must know Him better. We must spend time DAILY in His presence until He consumes every fiber of our being. Until we begin to look, talk, and act more like Him than we do this fallen and sinful world that we live in. Many of us have so much baggage to release and healing to be done in our hearts. Of course this doesn't happen overnight or even by our own strength. It's only through the work of the Holy Spirit and the constant renewal of our minds that this is even remotely possible. As you continue to delight yourself in the Lord you will begin to realize that your prayers are being answered more often and that His peace will consume you, no matter what your circumstances may be. Why? Because the more you focus on Christ, the more your heart will begin to reflect His and your prayers and life will be in line with His Will. When it is all said and done God wants our hearts!! He wants our obedience and has no problem rewarding us for being obedient when we willingly submit to Him. Simply put honor Him and He will honor you in due time. The Lord actually delights in blessing His children with gifts the same way that our parents or teachers rewarded us at times for doing good when we were kids. Marriage is just one of the many gifts that God enjoys giving to His children, in His perfect timing!

I say all of this to say be God-led in every season, whether single or married. The decisions you make and habits you form today will either help or hinder you in the future. If God is telling you to study Biblical womanhood, do it. If God is telling you to do certain tasks to prepare to be a wife, do it. If God is telling you to solely focus on learning how to be single and develop your relationship more with him, do it. He always knows what it is best and is not going to ask you to do anything that won't be beneficial to you, no matter how hard it may seem. He promises that you if we "trust in Him with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, acknowledge Him in all our ways, He will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6)."




A few of the books that God has led me to read over the past few months are:

1. Preparing to Be A Helpmeet by Debi Pearl
2. The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Ottoman
3. The Power of A Praying Woman by Stormie Ottoman
4. So You Want to Be Married by Cornelius Lindsey
5. Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliott
6. Set-Apart Femininity by Leslie Ludy
7. When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy


So instead of "focusing on being single" I've learned to simply embrace this season of my life, which I know is preparing me for the next.  To submit to and focus on God and allow Him to choose how He wants to prepare me to be the wife that He will call me to be in the future. Only He knows the day or hour that will actually happen but I trust that He has my best interest at heart. Until then you can catch me living and walking along the path that God has called for me to be on because I'm in training for my future!!!

Peace & blessings,

Cierra xoxo



P.s. If you have any questions or need encouragement feel free to email me at cierracotton@gmail.com or follow me on instagram at lovepeacejoy__1 (that's a double underscore).

P.P.S. I'm really trying to be more intentional about blogging more so ya'll please bear with me!!!