My Confession

My confession is simply this: I've allowed for myself to become too busy.

That’s right, you read it right; I’m too busy. For the past few months I have been overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, worried, upset, frustrated, and pretty much on the verge of being burnt out, more often than I would like to admit. You want to know the reason why? I have taken on way too much, more than I believe God ever intended for me to. Although God is working on me, I admit that I have a problem with saying yes to the wrong things or just assuming that every assignment somehow must be my assignment. Yesterday, while I was spending quality time with The Lord, He put it on my heart to read a book that a friend gave me a few months ago called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst. So today, after church, I sat down to read it. Let me just say that I’m sooooooo glad that I was obedient, because by page 5 I knew without a doubt that God was speaking to me through the words on EVERY SINGLE PAGE. 

 

I sat there in amazement because Lysa Terkeurst was literally describing my life and it felt good to be reassured that I’m not the only going through it.  I have begun to realize that although God has entrusted me with a lot in this season, He hasn’t’ called me to do everything. I am human and have limitations. You might be thinking but doesn’t the Bible say,  

“I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength” (Phillipians 4:13). 

While that is true, that means all the things that He has called me to do, not all the things that people throw at me on a daily basis. I’m so guilty of feeling like since I’m single that means I need to help everyone because one day, Lord willing, I will have a husband and kids who will hinder my ability to serve without my interests being divided. What I’m starting to realize is that if I don’t establish these boundaries and learn how to say no now, it’s not going to be any easier to begin to conquer this area when I’m married. Notice that I said, “begin to conquer” because I know this process is going to take some time, but the sooner I start the better. God has literally shown me the error of my ways and given me a grace period, in which to begin this process.

I remember Him whispering to me last August that my life was only going to be busier from that point and I was going to have to truly seek Him in order to make the best decisions. Well somewhere along the way, I stopped doing that, and oh boy has that shown up in my personal and spiritual life. Some days I literally want to cry because I have so much on my plate. My automatic response is typically “yes” and I stopped seeking The Lord first in everything, as He instructed me to do.  Instead I do it here and there, almost as an afterthought when God has tailored my life in such a way that I NEED HIM EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY. There are so many things that God has told me to do that I have placed on the back burner, because I just can’t seem to find the time to complete it. My priorities have fallen to serving man first instead of serving God first, which will ultimately result in me serving and being a blessing to man.  Did you know that if you serve God & His people but your heart isn’t right that it doesn’t count? God wants our hearts to find joy in giving and serving for His Kingdom. That’s why The Bible contains passages of Scripture like

 2 Corinthians 9:7, “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure, for God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”  

 God wants us to willingly serve Him, not for us to be pressured into doing so. When you are so busy doing for everyone else it is so easy to begin to go through the motions when it comes to serving God. It easily becomes another item on your checklist to spend time with Him in prayer, studying His Word, and worship.  This is the same God who sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross for our sins!!! How could we ever go through the motions with God the one who is named, I AM WHO I AM (Exodus 3:14)? I want to serve God willingly and be all who He has called me to be, go everywhere He has called me to go, and say all that He has called me to say.  That is impossible if I am constantly allowing others to load my plate with tasks that God ordained for someone else to tackle. If anything my ability to say “no” is robbing others of being able to use their own God-given gifts, talents, and abilities.  Also it becomes harder for me to hear God’s direction when I am overwhelmed because His voice gets drowned in the chaos. Then decision-making becomes that much harder for me to make and I feel all alone and uncertain about the choices I make. Sometimes, not always, it is simply because I am asking for direction in something new when I haven’t even completed the last task God asked me to do. I loved this quote from “The Best Yes” when Lysa Terkeurst said, “The one who obeys God’s instructions for today will develop a keen awareness of His direction for tomorrow.”

So moving forward, I will be carving out more time to do what God has placed on my heart to do such as blogging weekly, taking more dance classes, working on creating a website for women in different phases of life, exercising, cooking, traveling, and just being still. I also will work towards being more aware of how and what I spend my time doing. I know this won’t happen overnight, but you have to start somewhere right? This blog will prayerfully be the first step for me in creating time to be obedient in the daily things that God requires of me, as His daughter and a woman who is learning what it truly means to be after His own heart.

Deuteronomy 10:12 “And now, Israel, what does The Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear The LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve The Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Until next time,

Cierra

xoxo

                                            

                                        

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