From Faith to Faith: FEAR

About 2 weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the new journey that The Lord has placed before me and it was amazing to have so many of you offer up words of timely encouragement and prayers. God truly has been faithful in this process to send people along at the right time to keep me going. He's also placed it on my heart to document more of this journey so I will be attempting to blog every week with any updates or lessons that I am learning through this process.

This week I want to talk about FEAR. It's real and if not handled properly can really ruin our walk with The Lord. The Bible tells us that God is not the author of fear:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7 

 Now there is a difference between the holy, reverent fear of God (1 Samuel 12:24, 1 Peter 1:17), that we should have as believers, and the terrifying, anxious, worrisome type of fear. The second type of fear I mentioned is evil and of the devil. We are to cast it down (2 Corinthians 5:10) and not entertain it. If we allow for the enemy to gain even a foothold/opportunity into our minds and lives,  he will have a field day and potentially paralyze us from moving forward in our Christian walk. He loves to plant seeds of fear and negativity to magnify small issues and make them seem impossible to get through and overcome. Sometimes the issues he brings to our attention actually aren't even issues at all, but just made up in our head. If we aren't careful we will find ourselves losing trust and hope in God. Particularly as it pertains to living by faith, fear creates doubt in our minds and often causes us to forget how Sovereign God is. The enemy wants us to forget all the times that God came through before and tries to convince us that He has forgotten about us, which is impossible. We serve a God whose thoughts about us outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:18) and who had every day of our lives recorded in His book before the world began (Psalm 139:16).

Right after I wrote that blog, 2 weeks ago, I started having panic attacks in the middle of the night. It happened like clockwork for about 5 days straight. Every night about 1am or 2am I would wake up and begin to feel as if the walls were caving in on my life. I would suddenly be filled with terror and negative images would flood my mind. The following questions and thoughts would run through my mind:  

 "What am I doing?" 

"What if I get there and nothing happens?"

"What if I missed God?"

"You don't have to move, God is lying to you."

"God really didn't say all of that."

"You are going to move and nothing is going to work out."

These are just a few of the ones that I can remember. Honestly the first few days I didn't even notice the pattern and would wake up, panic, and then drift off back to sleep within a few minutes. By Friday night, though I realized what was happening. I went to a worship night that United Pursuit held, with a girlfriend of mine, and The Lord begin to show me all the seeds of doubt and fear that I had allowed for the enemy to plant in my heart that week. It was hindering my walk with the Lord and killing my faith dramatically. By not fighting back, I was giving the enemy an opportunity to "devour" me in my weakened state (1 Peter 5:8).  He reminded me that this battle is purely spiritual as it tells us in Ephesians: 

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
Ephesians 6:12

Once I realized where the attack was coming from I was better able to fight back. Instead of sitting by, I needed to put on the full armor of God and stand firm(Ephesians 6:11-17). So that night when the attack came I heard the enemy whisper some lies and then say "I am going to devour you." At that point I was done with his foolishness and instead of panicking I begin to say over and over again "perfect love casts out all fear,"

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." 
1 John 4:18

As well as, 

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4 

 I almost immediately felt at peace and went back to sleep. The next day when I was at bible study, for the dance ministry at my church, I told the women what I had been experiencing and they prayed for me and I haven't had those night time attacks in over a week. *insert praise break* Through that experience I realized just how full of lies the enemy is. That even his threats aren't really threats. Everything about him is a lie, including the shadows he tries to create in our lives to cause us to live in fear. He knows that if he can get a few Christians to step out of the will of God for their lives, by blanketing them in fear, then that's less people who will come to the knowledge and truth of who God is. He literally studies us, knows our weaknesses, and when to strike, but we must remember that the truth is not in him. He cannot harm our souls or take away our salvation.  

"You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it."
           John 8:44 

There are going to be times in this Christian journey when we fall, but we can't stay down. We have to seek The Lord and get back up. There are going to be times when we will be tempted to give up or turn astray. Quitting is not an option; others are counting on your ability to endure through the tests and trials that come your way. God has already won the victory and all He is asking for you to do is stand. All He is asking is for you to be still and wait patiently for Him to act  (Psalm 37:7). Maybe your struggle isn't fear, but just now that whatever is it you are on overcomer through the blood that Jesus Christ shed on the cross. The battle has been won, but it's up to you walk in that victory. It's up to you to put on the armor of God and fight back when the attacks come. Fight for your peace of mind! Fight for your joy! Fight for your endurance!

While writing this blog, The Lord reminded me that the enemy tried the same type of spiritual warfare and tactics, before I moved to Atlanta, just not as intense. That warfare lasted, on and off,  for over 10 months because I was unaware of what was happening and why. Fast forward 2.5 years and I'm wiser, I'm stronger, I'm better, I'm more equipped, and I am not playing these games with him!!!! I know from which my help comes and that He is greater than all!

I don't know exactly what God has in store for me, in Texas, but whatever it is I refuse to let the enemy distract and knock me off course. God continues to confirm that is where He wants me to be in the most random ways. I will keep on running this race and am determined to endure until the end. I know that the next 33 days will be an adventure and I'm excited to see what He has in store. I refuse to let my mind jump all the way to January but really am taking every day one step at a time. I want to enjoy this experience and my last few weeks in Atlanta. I do not want to look back and wish that I had just trusted God to do what He said He would do, instead of sitting worried about what God had in store. He's going to move and open doors when He knows that it's the best timing. Yes, not knowing exactly what will happen can be nerve-wracking at times, but that's why we have faith and a Heavenly Father who is all-knowing with a perfect plan for each and every one of us. Being "faith walkers" allows for God to get the maximum glory through our lives and it draws people unto Him. It causes for others to see the impossible become possible with God. Faith and fear don't mix anymore than praying and worrying do; we have to choose one or the other. Today will you choose faith? Will you choose to be brave and courageous (Joshua 1:9)? Will you choose to endure until the end (Matthew 24:13)?

Whatever you are holding onto, or allowing into your life, that is causing you to live in a state of fear, I encourage you to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus, because He truly does care for you  
(1 Peter 5:7) and will never lead you astray.

I want to leave you with this beautiful song by ‪Jonathan David & Melissa Helser, of Bethel Music, called "No Longer Slaves"

                                                                     Until next time,

                                                                           Cierra
                                                                            xoxo

                                                                             

Thanksgiving 2015

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