Pages

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

From Faith to Faith: What I've Learned Over The Past Month


  "Though the Lord is on high, Yet He regards the lowly; But the proud He knows from afar.
 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands."
-Psalm 138:6-8 


That Scripture above has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me over the past few weeks! Honestly I can't read it without stopping to praise God. To think that God Himself is up on high, but yet thinks about me enough to actually walk with me in the midst of trouble and then perfect that which concerns me, makes no sense. I ask you to sit for a second and just mediate on those words and then praise God for His unconditional love. Those words are not just for me, they are for you too!

It's been awhile since I've given an update on my journey here in Texas and if you don't watch my YouTube videos then you have no idea about the transition season, The Lord currently has me in. Since I started my YouTube channel I do not always write as much, but I try to upload a video or two every week!

Sidenote: If you haven't subscribed to my YouTube channel then you can Click Here

To bring you all up to speed at the beginning of last month I had to move out of my apartment aka I was evicted. Yes, the apartment that I had just moved into at the end of May. Yes, the apartment that I know The Lord led me to. Yes, the apartment that I had prayed and fasted over throughout the entire leasing process. I had even walked around the whole complex and prayed over it before I even moved in. Yes, the apartment that contained every single thing on the list that I had brought before The Lord and more. Yes, the apartment that was only 15 min from my job like I had asked of The Lord. Yes, the apartment that I was supposed to be having prayer nights, worship nights, and Bible studies in. Yes, the apartment that God miraculously provided me funds to stay in for the prior 2 months of me living there.

Not only that, I strongly felt The Lord tugging on my heart to leave my job as well.

Saying that I was distraught was an understatement. Not only was I being forced to move, I could no longer count on my job for income. I was so confused and didn't understand why it seemed like God was taking away everything that I had prayed for. It would have been different if I had just did my own thing, but I had actively sought Him throughout the whole process. In my eyes it looked like everything was literally falling apart. I was in complete shock and truly was disappointed, because that was not how I saw it all ending. Every other month, God had come through in the midnight hour but this time it seemed like the heavens were closed and His provision was nowhere in sight. I was praying and praying and praying and it honestly seemed like He was going to come through. I can honestly say looking back that God did provide for me even though it wasn't financially the way I expected. I remember walking around that morning and telling The Lord that I had faith like Abraham and believed that if He took my apartment away from me, then He could revive the situation and give it back. Well, God took me seriously because I wasn't able to come up with all of the money by the deadline. My hopes and dreams were shattered. I knew God was capable and I couldn't understand why He didn't just do it. I don't think I've felt more abandoned, forsaken, or embarrassed in my life then at that moment. I felt like I had trusted God, done everything He told me to, and still came up short.

It's amazing how throughout it all, God had a plan for my life. My moving out process was smoother than my moving in process. I had two friends who came over that night and literally helped me pack up my whole apartment and load up my car. Then the next morning I was able to rent a Uhaul truck and find a storage unit and once again had friends that just happened to off and could assist me. My mom and dad truly stepped up and helped me financially in a few ways. I had a home cooked meal that night and a safe place to stay.

I wish I could say that I was thankful, but at the time my heart had became hardened towards God. For the next 2 days I pretty much avoided sitting still and spending any time with Him. Instead I cried, cried, and cried some more (if you know me, you know I rarely cry so that's a big deal). I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to deal with the reality of what had just happened, which seemed like the end of the world at the time. I felt so purposeless and seriously considered moving to another city or state. If it hadn't been for a faithful few, who called to pray with and encourage me, I would not have made it through those first couple of days. I was beating myself up with a shoulda, coulda, woulda attitude and the enemy was having a complete field day with me. I felt so weak and was just plain tired. I lost assurance if I could even receive instructions from The Holy Spirit. Even though my feelings and emotions were all over the place, I had a sense in my spirit that God was still there. It's like I knew better in my spirit, but my flesh was doing the most. Despite all of the confusion, I can honestly say that God never stopped pursuing me. I'm thankful for His constant love, grace, and mercy towards me. Looking back I see that He was constantly encouraging me to not quit by sending friends, sermons, songs, and Scripture across my path. I'm so thankful for friends who are led by The Holy Spirit. One of those friends sent me the following message:

"Cierra, you KNOW the last thing I told you. You have not missed Me. It's about laying down your life for My name sake. And when you lay it all down, I give you blessings upon blessings. It's not going to happen by strength or might, but by My Spirit. Every blessing will flow in through a different way. I can't give you what I have for you until you stop being mad at Me. I know your thoughts and your heart. I want you to believe Me for the things I have spoken over you. But it's going to require a heart check and coming to Me in complete honesty. You are loved, wanted, and desired by ME. I CARE more than you'll ever know."

After reading that I finally took time to sit before God and just be still. I confessed the hardness of my heart, my feelings, and asked Him to forgive me. I knew that He had me in this season for a reason and I wanted to trust that He was truly sovereign. Sitting and being still was super hard at first, because I thrive off of productivity. The Lord kept patiently explaining to me that I needed to rest and be still, knowing that He is God (Psalm 46:10). I was able to stay with friends who live in Keller, TX, which was such a peaceful environment. They truly took care of me, encouraged me to spend as much time with God as possible, prayed with me, loved on me, and challenged me to keep trusting God's plan. The craziest thing was they were in California all summer and just happened to arrive back in town, 2 days after I got evicted. Coincidence? I don't think so. God knew that this was going to happen and perfectly orchestrated their arrival.

I can't even begin to explain to you the work that God has done in my life over the past month. He's shown me so much about myself both good and bad. Most importantly I've learned more about Him and how to trust Him to a higher degree. I've been able to spend time truly soaking up His Word again and seeking Him in prayer without time constraints. Yes, I've had days were I have cried, but I can honestly say that I've never gone without shelter, food, water, or gas for my car. Even though I have no income coming in, God still always makes a way. I have had people reach out to me, right after I've spent hours in prayer & fasting, saying that The Lord laid it on their heart to sow into me. Throughout this process I have been blessed to stay in 6 different living situations all for free. Now let me say this, it wasn't until recently that I was able to see many of these blessings. At first I felt super unstable moving from place to place, not really knowing who was going to say yes next. I also had a hard time receiving from others, because I'm used to giving. I had to pray for God to give me His perspective on all of this. Once I surrendered this entire situation over to God, I begin to see the patterns of His provision, protection, and direction. It's been ugly at times seeing the the true condition of my heart, but I'm so much wiser, stronger, and my heart is cleaner than before. I've had my days of doubt, but I've also seen God answering my prayer to increase my faith as well. The intimacy that I've gained with Christ throughout this experience has made all of this so worth it. No, this is definitely not what I thought my journey in Texas would like, but even in this I've learned to be content and grateful. I mean here I am 27 without a job, stable housing, and bills pilling up by the minute, which doesn't exactly sound appealing. According to the American Dream and society's standards I'm failing miserably, but in God's eyes I know that He couldn't be happier that I've chosen Him and His path. Success in God's Kingdom is obedience to Him, no matter how unconventional that path may seem. Honestly I'm glad that The Lord didn't show me this side of the journey beforehand, because otherwise I probably would still be living in Atlanta right now, all outside of His will. He knows me so well, that He showed me the good, so that it could help me endure the ashes that have to come before the beauty.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned throughout this is to PERSEVERE!!! The Lord has sent so many women my way to love on, encourage, pray for, etc., even in the midst of my own struggles. It's taught me to think of others more than I think of myself and to die to my flesh. It's taught me that true ministry is caring for others and trusting that God will take care of you. It's taught me that when trouble comes it's not the time to draw inward and isolate yourself, but to keep your eyes on Christ and surround yourself with individuals who are strong in their faith. I've been able to read and study so much over the past month, which I wouldn't be able to if I was working. I've been able to construct my days around Christ, instead of just squeezing Him in for a brief moment here and there. I know this is just a season and soon The Lord will send me back out into His harvest to do His work, so I'm trying to take advantage of every single moment. The Lord has taught me to speak life over my situation and not death. To pray and not complain when things get tough. God has shown me the benefits of what some people call P.U.S.H. (Praying Until Something Happens). Our world is so fast paced that we sometimes carry that over into our prayer lives and give up when we don't see instant results. There is nothing that brings more joy than to labor in prayer for the needs of others, as well as yourself, and see God actually answer those prayers. To pray in faith, with no doubting, and see how God chooses to answer those prayers. To pray and then praise God in faith for answering your prayer, even though you cannot see the results in the natural yet. I could go on and on about all the lessons that I've learned, but just know that He often places us in seasons of transition so that He can prepare our hearts and minds for where we will go next. He's not punishing you by taking you through the valley, but pruning You for greater service for Him.

God truly has a plan for our lives. As you walk by faith there are some seasons when you literally have to trust Him for your daily bread. There are other seasons when you will have an abundance to share with others. You are not loved more, by God, if you are in a season of abundance and you are not loved less, by Him, if you are in a season of lack. Each season serves a purpose in your growth and development as a Christian. The goal is to make us more like Christ, by any means necessary. God knows what we need to experience and when we need to experience it, so that we will grow into the fullness of Christ. The process of sanctification isn't pretty, but the results bring God glory and prepare us for eternity. Your journey is uniquely yours so don't compare; just look to God and seek His face.

I don't know if you are currently in the wilderness or reaping the harvest of the promise land, but just know that God loves you and your story is not for you, but to help someone else come into the knowledge of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ.


A few (there are too many to list them all) of the Scriptures that have given me encouragement and strength in this transition season are:

"...The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
-Job 1:21 

 Psalm 91 (The Whole Passage)

"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever,
For in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength"
-Isaiah 26:3-4

“...Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”
-Mark 9:24

"For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."
-Philippians 2:13

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
-2 Corinthians 4:17-18

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7

"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."
1 Peter 5:10

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all." 
-Psalm 34:19

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LordIn the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart;Wait, I say, on the Lord!"
-Psalm 27:13-14

 "For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:"
-Hebrews 10:36

“God is not a man, that He should lie,
Nor a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not do?
Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
-Numbers 23:19

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;  above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints."
-Ephesians 6:10-18

"...Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the Lord of hosts."
-Zechariah 4:6

Psalm 34 (The Whole Passage)

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
-Galatians 6:9

"Cast your burden on the Lord,

And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."
Psalm 55:22
 

 If you feel led please pray:

1. I will stay committed to the mission and path that God has me on, no matter how crazy it gets
2. I will find a stable place to live
3. I will get plugged into the right church home
4. I will be able to pay back the money I still owe the leasing complex
5. My needs will be met according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus
6. I will continue to be a blessing to those I encounter
7. God's will be done in my life


It's weird to say, but through the ups and downs, I've never lost my complete peace. There were many days when I said I wanted to move, but deep down inside I know that The Lord has called me to Dallas for this season. Do I understand why? No, not really, but I have no choice but to trust Him. Traveling towards the unknown can be a scary thing, until you renew your mind, review God's track record, and remember that He isn't even capable of failing you or anyone else.

I believe by faith that this season of transition is coming to end. I actually have a job interview tomorrow for a position with a Christian non-profit and The Lord has been opening doors for me to assist others in ministry. I know that this season was crucial in my development and that it was God's love that allowed me to have time to slow down before He truly begins to use me. There were days where I tried to apply for every job under the sun and He challenged me to just sit and trust Him. I had to pass up opportunities to teach dance and He even shut down a few doors I tried to open. As I prepare for this interview though I can't help but smile, because it falls right in line with what He had shown me prior to even moving to Texas. My hope isn't in this job, but in Christ. I trust that if He doesn't open this door, then He has something even better in mind!

Until next time,

Cierra
xoxoxo


My parents and I during their visit this month!


Instagram & Periscope: @mylifeascierra

11 comments:

  1. You're awesome! I don't know you but your testimony is going to be glorious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I mean here I am 27 without a job, stable housing, and bills pilling up by the minute, which doesn't exactly sound appealing. According to the American Dream and society's standards I'm failing miserably, but in God's eyes I know that He couldn't be happier that I've chosen Him and His path. Success in God's Kingdom is obedience to Him, no matter how unconventional that path may seem. Honestly I'm glad that The Lord didn't show me this side of the journey beforehand, because otherwise I probably would still be living in Atlanta right now, all outside of His will. He knows me so well, that He showed me the good, so that it could help me endure the ashes that have to come before the beauty." <-- This paragraph right here resonates with me so well that I just had to take a moment to tell you that you are NOT alone! With the exception of a few minor details, our stories are almost identical (I'm over 30, though). Although I feel for you greatly & pray that a financial blessing comes quickly, because I know what LACK feels like, it feels good to see another sister in the faith who's familiar with what I'm going through, & persevering as I strive too, every day.

    Sometimes this journey feels lonely, but God reminds us that we're never alone...we have Him & our brothers & sisters in Him walking this path together.

    Anyway, I will keep you in prayer, praying that your faith will not fail, because you're a blessing to the Kingdom, and I want you to go all the way!

    Much love. <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are in the same season. Keep pressing towards the mark. Keep the faith and press against the grain. God loves you. God is with you no matter what it looks like.

    ReplyDelete
  4. God bless you sis, God is with you. At first I did not understand what you're doing with your life, when I read your testimony about you moving from city to city. I believe with you that you will find what God has called you to be or already you are truly doing what God has called you to be. Continue praying, listening to Him. God loves you. All is well with you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! I'm literally in tears because this is actually what I'm going through now. I'm 21 away at college (or suppose to be) but I took an unexpected break to figure out what to do next. I was staying in an apartment but the management kept raising the rent & even though I was working I couldn't afford it so I decided not to renew my lease and now I'm living with my uncle 1hr away. I also had to leave my job due to the distance. It's really tough for me because God has been speaking to me about being in the wilderness & the growth that has taken place in me is on a whole level. It's been almost 2 months now & I haven't had any luck finding a job and I'm using up my savings to pay bills & such. Trusting God & not doubting where he has me has been my biggest challenge. I believe that God will substain me in the midst of lack but sometimes I feel forgotten. This season is temporary so I know I'll be coming out of it soon. I thank God because he has shown me his unfailing love in many ways that I never know before! We'll get through this & I'll be praying for the both of us as we journey through the path that God has for us. God bless ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  6. How can someone sow into you financially?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey sis! I have paypal account under my email cierracotton@gmail.com and The Venmo app.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just followed you on Venmo and sent it. God bless you! 😘

      Delete
  8. Hey Cierra!

    I just want encourage you and pray that you continue to seek first the Kingdom and be reminded that all other things will be added unto you. I want to thank you for being obedient to the Holy Spirit. I am currently in the same season as I've recently moved to GA. People closes to me often discourage me because they have yet to see how God will provide and clean up for what looks to be a big mess that I've created in my life. They often tell me that I've missed him and it can't be God if it looks like it does.I trust God and what he is doing and though the storm is raging I KNOW I will be safely wrapped in his arms. I wanted to let you know how much of a blessing this was to me and how you've helped me to be reminded that they're are many people on this faith journey and that I cannot give up because it is all for his Glory. Thank you so much Cierra! I believe all things are working for your good!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Loved this post. I too have moved from Ohio to Illinois then Texas and now Arizona all because God told me to go. Walking by faith and not by what you see is not easy, but it builds faith as you continually stay obedient to God's voice. As I have been doing all these moves God has continually shown me other people who are led to move by God. It encourages me and let's me know I am not crazy for doing this and there are others just like me when other people think I have lost my mind. I have recently accepted this and I can say my journey is just different from yours and if it takes all these moves to get me to my purpose and destiny that God created me for, than all of this would have been worth it.

    ReplyDelete